I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
