i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
