well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
