Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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