seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
