Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize