Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
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She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.