I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.