I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
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I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.