Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.