Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
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Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad