hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
