Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
why is half of my head shaved?
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