like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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