some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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