She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
