Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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