maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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