Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
