Whod you bang
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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