and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
