I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
