Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
