i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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