Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
