We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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