I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
