Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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