everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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