I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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