You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
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You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
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you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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