How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
