Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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