She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
