I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
