I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
