Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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