Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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