my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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