that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
