I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
