He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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