So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You need a sexual gate keeper
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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