No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Drake has all the answers
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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