my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
