The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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