Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
