these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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