yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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