Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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