Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
