we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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