remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You're a waste of cheezeits
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize