Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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