my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
