Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
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