everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
