You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
