check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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