In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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