I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
