What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize