Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
