She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
then he tried to convert me to islam
foreskin is a definite game changer
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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