i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
