What did we do last night that was yellow?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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