And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
