I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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